Boston, MA, San Diego, CA and New York, NY (cities where birds suck)

I can't decide which is worse...having friends around when you get shit on by a bird or being alone.

I have been hit with bird shit on the following occasions:

Boston - August '99
San Diego - February '05
New York (Streets) - April '05
New York (Central Park) - May '05

Mind you, these are just the most recent and prevalent hits.

Then there's today. Friday, April 28 12:11PM EDT. Location: in the vicinity of Times Square. Almost a year to date from the last time I was blindsided on the streets of NYC.

I decide to venture out of the office to run an errand and pick up lunch. It's a beautiful day. Lots of people out and about. I make it six blocks. I pause at the corner of 42nd and 8th ready to cross the street. It's then that I hear "poof poof" and feel something hit my head and shoulders. MuthaFucka. It's a noise, feeling, sensation I am all too familiar with. I don't even look up...no need...I know what I'll see.

I've got about five deep behind me on the corner. Are they all staring at bird shit on my back?! I don't want to wait and find out. I pivot and bolt. I'm still on the sidewalk but now just off to the side under an overhang. People are definitely still looking, but, whatever.

I take off my coat....damn...they got me. I feel like the Bird Mafia has a bounty on my head. Ok, gross, but definitely cleanable and not very noticeable. That can't be it?! It had felt like more. Great. I'm half running, half skipping down the block. Not out of joy. Oh no. Out of the necessity to twist my body every 1/2 block to see if I can steal a glance at the damage. Nothing. I'm running my hands through my hair...across my shoulders. I must look like a power walker with the shakes.

Here is where my original question comes in....is it better to be alone or with people when a bird shits on you? Flashback....May '05 Central Park. My brother and cousin were town for a short stay before we took off for Madrid. I decided to take them to Central Park. Another beautiful, sunny day (see a pattern here?). We're walking through the park and I am almost instantaneously assaulted on my shoulder and arm. My cousin starts laughing hysterically and pointing. This is where I may have wished to be alone, as tourists then began to point and take pictures. I approached the closest hot dog stand and got napkins. End of story, not end of embarrassment.

Fast forward to today. My trip was cut drastically short. I, in fact, didn't run my errand and didn't get lunch. Why? Because I was solo and there was no one to do the "once over", someone to laugh and be embarrassed with. Instead I legged it back to the office and made my colleagues survey the damage.

Twenty minutes later, I went back out. After all a girl has to eat.

When you fall off a horse, you get back on. When you bomb a presentation, you try harder next time. When a bird shits on you, you hold your (hatless) head high and march down the street.

Let that be a lesson to you my friends. Let's not let our fears cripple us. If you see a girl walking down the street flinching every time the shadow of a bird passes over, cut her some slack or better yet, offer her a napkin.